rise & shine.

writing a 12 page paper tonight on the problem of evil concerning the belief of Deity. Dont know where to start so i havent. it’s due today. im such an overacheiver. feel like sleeping or dying. i told my boyfriend before he went to bed that i called him because i wanted to hear his voice before i kill myself tonight. x_x i’ve been so stressed out beyond belief recently. i feel like i try and try but im never gonna be good enough.. good enough to get good grades now, good enough to get promoted at work, good enough to be one of Hou’s priorities, good enough to get hired elsewhere, good enough to do anything right at home. it feels like i’ve almost hit rock bottom because i honestly feel like giving up but unfortunately that is not an option. ironically giving up gave another girl a once in a lifetime opportunity. i feel like quitting school though. like the whole community college thing and trying to go to a UC or CSU. it may not be for me. i love art history but maybe im not bright enough to succeed in it. i feel like just moving to costa mesa and going to fashion school out there. i’d already have a guaranteed job there and maybe it’s better. like who am i kidding myself trying to do all that i want to. i need some kind of change because i cant keep doing this. i cant keep pretending im happy living the way i am right now. the things keeping me back is ofcourse money and living arrangements. it used to be Houston but i guess now not so much. How interesting..

(Source: fundamental-frequencies, via alexleyton)